Parenting a Family with Autism Spectrum Disorder (My Perfect Family: The Priestleys) - Free Educational videos for Students in K-12

Parenting a Family with Autism Spectrum Disorder (My Perfect Family: The Priestleys) - By Lumos Learning

Transcript


00:01	a family trying to raise three autistic Children in a
00:09	society that really struggles to understand what autism is is
00:13	really hard . Most people wouldn't understand how much time
00:17	and effort that goes into creating a good life for
00:20	these young people come back because we don't want our
00:25	Children living a life excluded from things . The more
00:30	people understand autism , the better our society is going
00:34	to be . Oh , yeah , you can .
00:51	Just for you . That's stopping you guys not even
00:54	interested in . I'm an amazing family and exceptional Children
01:00	. They may technically sit on the autism spectrum ,
01:03	but to me they just got their own specialties .
01:06	They're all incredibly gifted . Sophie . She's really funny
01:12	and really outgoing . She's on the spectrum , Harry
01:17	his mind . His mind is constantly going . He's
01:20	on the spectrum . I don't know that Liam .
01:24	He's my oldest son . He's very high functioning autistic
01:28	, so he's very clever . Con is exceptionally fit
01:32	and sporty . He loves to play soccer . He's
01:35	not on the spectrum . Maybe you just think about
01:41	food . Rachel . She's my loving wife . She's
01:45	the rock that holds us all together . She's always
01:48	thinking about everyone else . Without that , we wouldn't
01:51	be able to have such a tight family . I
01:54	guess it's just a busy six person family , and
01:58	I'm acutely aware that we probably don't seem a typical
02:02	autistic , disabled family . And actually , there's so
02:07	much that goes on and families who are raising Children
02:11	who have autism but don't meet those stereotypical labels who
02:15	are getting on with life . Most of the time
02:18	he just have a few barriers to to overcome .
02:21	But as a family , we think about autism as
02:24	a strength and not to be embarrassed about . For
02:29	me , autism is great . I think , um
02:33	, I get all of the benefits of it .
02:35	You know , I can learn really quick . I
02:37	can take information really well . But , um ,
02:44	I guess there are some downsides to I get this
02:47	, you know , that stereotypical can't read people .
02:50	They are not looking into people's eyes because it's weird
02:53	feeling . Um , and I think the missing some
03:00	stuff just kind of makes a bit hard . Got
03:02	all these Children were not One of them is helping
03:04	doing any cleaning . He went wrong somewhere . Part
03:08	of me . Well , the Children doing the cleaning
03:11	go and get them there . Oh , pick your
03:16	battles . Yeah . Yeah , Liam as my first
03:21	baby , and you don't know anything other than what
03:24	you get given , I guess . And I just
03:26	thought that Children at two and three could draw schematics
03:30	and he could talk in these really complex sentences and
03:34	had these really adult type thoughts . So we had
03:38	him tested to find out what this intelligence was ,
03:42	and I think it was at that point they mentioned
03:44	I this He might be on the spectrum because of
03:46	the way he responds to questions about emotions and things
03:49	slightly different , hardest part about autism . For me
03:53	, I don't understand people and their feelings . It's
03:58	often not do something , and then someone will say
04:01	to me , He was like , Why didn't you
04:02	think about that ? I'm like , Well , I
04:05	can't really Yeah , I'm hurting people's feelings . You
04:08	said I'm very sad . We're still learning the rules
04:13	of social engagement and that social awkwardness . What do
04:17	you say when somebody says that , or how do
04:20	you respond to a situation that's pretty true ? He's
04:25	a pretty good older brother . Oh , no .
04:29	What does that make you feel that I've been lied
04:32	to betrayed ? William and Connor have always been a
04:36	type where Unit Connor is just your average Kiwi boy
04:40	and he's so empathetic and so not on the spectrum
04:45	. This is my drinking box . It's one of
04:48	everything in the world . See , Harry is diagnosed
04:53	with autism and a D . H . D .
04:56	I probably use the expression to describe Harry as the
04:59	most impacted by his autism from Papua New Guinea ,
05:07	which is , um , is like I have superpowers
05:10	, but no superpowers . I've got really good smell
05:13	and hearing and sometimes really annoying , because then I
05:16	can smell the ants and I can't hear my own
05:22	voice , So I can't hear how loud I am
05:24	or quiet I am . And it's really annoying for
05:28	family . I just do squiggles , and they drop
05:32	flowers on them . Combat uniforms . When Sophie was
05:40	three or four , she was doing some really typical
05:43	autistic things , lining up animals in a really regimented
05:48	way . She will mask a lot of the stuff
05:52	that's going on for her . She gets really confused
05:57	about what's happening in social situations , and then when
06:00	she'll get home like a bottle of lemonade being shaken
06:03	up , and when you open it , it all
06:05	just explodes . I noticed at school that she would
06:09	react to situations which were difficult . She got deeply
06:14	affected by things that shouldn't really have been so important
06:17	. She would sort of fly off the handle a
06:19	lot easier . And other kids . Autism makes me
06:23	feel different and special was part about autism is ,
06:31	and it's hard to get along people . As the
06:39	kids were getting diagnosed , the more we found out
06:41	about it , the more I started to realize that
06:43	that was me when I was a child . They
06:46	didn't really understand autism very well . 30 years ago
06:50	, I was just kind of a naughty , smart
06:52	kid . I haven't really been formally diagnosed , so
06:57	I was kind of in trouble a lot . And
06:59	I started realizing , you know , I'm not really
07:01	very empathetic . And , yeah , I could be
07:05	very blunt , and even now it's still still the
07:08	same for me . I still find a struggle with
07:10	it . Sometimes I can explain all my bad behavior
07:13	, but all of my behavior , um , but
07:17	I don't really care . I'm a planner and an
07:30	organizer , and I run this house like a bit
07:33	of a military operation , which is a bit of
07:35	a joke , but it's what it needs to happen
07:38	for it to run really smoothly . Yeah . No
07:42	, these are just jackets , I think . Oh
07:45	, so I don't know . I usually get up
07:48	, get things started . Harry's next up . Then
07:51	we just do it piece by piece by piece .
07:56	Welcome . Usually it's pretty calm , and I try
08:00	and keep it really relaxed because I feel like my
08:03	job in the morning is to get the Children to
08:06	school . In the best possible mindset . We have
08:10	a critical system , man . Connor sleeping . You
08:13	guys do the work . We get up , eat
08:16	some food , annoy everybody , go back to bed
08:19	. Then you guys complain that we're not being useful
08:22	enough . Then these guys go to school and kind
08:24	of finally get up . Then we get our stuff
08:27	ready and then we go to school . I probably
08:30	do a lot more in the mornings for the Children
08:34	, but there's about that much that they can do
08:37	in a day , and you want that much to
08:39	be stuff that's going to be in their learning environment
08:42	. Where's your school bag ? Harry and Sophie ,
08:46	you struggle to go to school most weeks , so
08:50	most people wouldn't understand how much time and effort that
08:53	goes into all day . Well , the doors are
08:56	frozen shut . So we probably don't appear to be
09:00	anything different to most families , which is a great
09:03	thing . But at the same time , people aren't
09:06	as compassionate as understanding when things do go wrong .
09:09	So we probably a pair is this big family with
09:13	these really naughty Children a lot of the time or
09:16	a family who are making excuses for their child's behavior
09:23	. All right , love . Come on . Come
09:26	on . Okay . Good girl . You all right
09:32	? Climb out and everyone's gone . Okay ? Every
09:36	day . Not beautiful . You go . That's life
09:41	. I've got to go to work . Come on
09:43	. Okay . Come out . Sophie Rice . No
09:49	. Now I need to go to work . Come
09:50	on . So out . You can't sit in the
09:56	car all day . You've got to take them to
09:58	the office now . Okay , That's your job .
10:02	You go . You're gonna take Hunter to the office
10:05	. Bye . Come back . Mhm . This is
10:16	before , all right . You have a good time
10:24	for me . Well , I do not like scope
10:27	because socializing at school it's hard because everyone there thinks
10:37	some differences . They don't want to play with me
10:39	. Really ? Sophie has a lot of rules to
10:45	how life should be . And that is a struggle
10:48	sometimes because she has lots of rules around friendships and
10:51	her friends have to follow her rules . And little
10:53	girls don't want to follow another little girl's rules all
10:57	the time . And also the ability to gauge a
11:01	situation or know what to say isn't something that comes
11:04	naturally . Some of these skills have to be learned
11:07	. So if you can imagine if you're having a
11:09	conversation with somebody , and I know how to instantly
11:11	react if you start to get sad . But for
11:15	Liam , Harry and Sophie doesn't come naturally , they're
11:19	really thinking about how should I respond ? So that's
11:23	what Dawn teaches them . I'm a behavioral consultant ,
11:28	and I work with Children with learning needs . But
11:30	I specialist with Children with autism , Sophie is more
11:34	high anxiety . A lot of girls present quite differently
11:38	to boys , and they mask their autism really well
11:41	because they mimic other Children . They will stand on
11:44	the periphery . They will watch what the other Children
11:47	are doing , and then they will copy what they're
11:49	doing . Mhm . What a week ! Last year
11:56	she really struggled , so I worked with her to
11:58	find out exactly what was wrong , and one of
12:01	the big things was she couldn't decide on who to
12:03	choose to play with . She found playing with too
12:06	many girls at once was overwhelming . The noise was
12:09	too much . The choices of games was too much
12:11	. Following the rules was too much . So what
12:14	we did , we spoke to the girls and asked
12:16	them if they would be happy for us to put
12:18	in a play chart of who she would play with
12:21	each day . And that really helps . Sophie and
12:23	her friends will really understanding . And now we don't
12:26	have to do that . She can just go out
12:27	and play , and she can cope with it by
12:29	herself . Okay , The last thing to Antonio ,
12:39	what do you need to do once he's finished ?
12:42	If you missed the says , I had to finish
12:44	my art because everyone I just finished Migliorato . Harry
12:47	is really clever and bright child . He's very passionate
12:53	about animals nature . He does have troubles in the
12:58	classroom with particular things such as noise surprises . If
13:03	he's not sure what's happening , then it can overwhelm
13:05	him . But he's got strategies that we work on
13:08	to help him adapt to those things ? No .
13:12	Yeah , This is my calm down and this is
13:17	my massage . What is that like , you know
13:22	, just in case he likes using his hands .
13:26	If he's feeling overwhelmed or tired , him being able
13:30	to go to that box really helps him just to
13:32	kind of get into a good space . We had
13:35	one incident last year where Harry was really upset .
13:39	He couldn't go into class in the morning and we
13:41	couldn't work out what it was . And it turned
13:43	out that Harry has got high sensory needs and his
13:47	sense of smell is really , really large . And
13:50	he can smell aunts . And there were ants in
13:52	the classroom . So we had to get rid of
13:54	these ants before we could get him back in the
13:55	classroom . Harry goes to a mainstream school , and
14:02	I am adamant that he has the opportunity to mix
14:05	with his peers . And it's good for other Children
14:09	to learn what autism is . And how do you
14:13	support somebody with autism ? Because the more people understand
14:17	him and other people like him , the better our
14:19	society is going to be . 3123 Mhm . Alright
14:27	. Children in about 20 minutes . We're going in
14:31	here . That's that . No . One is .
14:33	Rachel Paul Helper is a residential provider . We provide
14:37	a range of living solutions for adults and disabilities .
14:41	So my role is to meet new families that have
14:44	expressed an interest in getting hold , happy to support
14:48	them , doing something different . And how do you
14:50	make that all work and this incredibly confusing system of
14:54	funding and housing and rules and regulations and how to
14:57	pull that all together because it needs a person to
15:00	make that all kind of happen ? About seven years
15:05	ago , when Harry was diagnosed with autism , I
15:08	was just getting turned away all the time every time
15:10	I tried to advocate for what they needed or what
15:14	I thought they needed . So I thought , Right
15:16	and I just need a bigger piece of paper than
15:18	a mum , and I always kind of had an
15:20	interest in social work . So I did my social
15:22	work qualifications through messy by distance . I'm extremely proud
15:28	that she's managed doing a degree and raising these Children
15:32	and raising me as well , and she's working in
15:37	a similar sort of area . I think she finds
15:40	it really rewarding and fulfilling . She's doing a great
15:43	job . So this is L J Assembly . This
15:48	is where we assemble the large jets . So I
15:51	designed the control systems which actuated and make it move
15:55	. And then this is controlled by the guys on
16:00	the bridge , which would privatize the boat with .
16:03	I've always worked with boats for 20 years . I've
16:06	worked in defense on the ANZAC frigates and protect the
16:10	class ships designing electrical systems for those being on the
16:14	spectrum . I've got quite a good ability to visualize
16:17	things in my head , so I can generally see
16:20	the problems before they occur . With Aiden's job ,
16:25	he has to travel a lot , so I parent
16:28	alone for about 10 weeks of the year . So
16:32	as a family , we're learning really quickly . It's
16:34	about the right people that surround us . Hey ,
16:38	hold for our family , having a break is really
16:45	tricky because there's not many people that can manage the
16:49	complexity of three Children with autism . And then you're
16:52	adding change , and then you're putting in somebody that
16:54	they might not know or trust . It's often a
16:58	recipe for failure . Until we met , big lamb
17:02	and big Lamb showed that if you have the right
17:05	carer in place . You can actually have brakes .
17:09	And last year , agent and I had all first
17:12	night away as a couple . After 14 years or
17:15	something crazy , I'm yeah , I hope it's going
17:23	to get hit . Stop being a carer , especially
17:26	with kids of the young age . I feel like
17:28	you've really got to just be yourself because they can
17:30	see right through . You know , Mom doesn't like
17:33	Dad putting up posters . Imagine if Sam was like
17:39	that . You would die . You live on your
17:42	Harry . He's just a wild boy . You'll just
17:44	go and go and go . Try and take it
17:45	for a walk or go for a swing or swim
17:47	or anything like that just to burn off some energy
17:49	. And then I mean Sophie . She's brutally honest
17:53	, you know , he walks up to school today
17:54	, so I don't like the haircut . I liked
17:55	it longer . You know , the first thing she
17:57	noticed . We talk about autistic Children not having a
18:02	filter or Sophie's certainly does that , you know ,
18:05	she will tell you exactly what she thinks . If
18:08	you want to hear it or not , and sometimes
18:10	it's okay . She's learning when to think it in
18:15	ahead but not say it out loud . And because
18:20	we can't give her the connector , it's gonna be
18:22	a big hole via our waters . Put little play
18:25	. What I was actually thinking is if we look
18:27	under the bracket , there's a whole so you could
18:30	put under the brake and freed up through the Liam's
18:34	go to Guy for I t in the house .
18:36	Because there are benefits to being on the spectrum .
18:40	Logical thinking nowadays is very important , as everything is
18:44	based around computers and visualization . Things like that being
18:47	able to see in inside your head what something ?
18:50	Well , how it will work , what it looks
18:52	like . So he's learning how to be a plumber
18:55	and an electrician and it engineer , and he's learning
18:59	all of those skills . And he's only 14 .
19:01	Yeah . Hey , Dad . Yeah , I'm going
19:05	to give it a tug . Okay . When I
19:08	met Aiden , he would talk about his adolescence being
19:12	the most challenging part of his life , that social
19:15	awkwardness . Having a parent in the family with autism
19:19	makes this job a lot easier because he can share
19:23	with me how it feels . And I can learn
19:26	from Aden about how he sees things , so just
19:33	hold it there , jiggle it so it will come
19:35	down . Now the boys are sort of coming to
19:37	that teenage age . I can see the potential areas
19:42	where they're going to struggle , because it's easy to
19:44	sort of put behavior down to just being rude .
19:47	Like I've got a learned response to how I need
19:49	to act . Just taken a long time to kind
19:52	of piece together by making mistakes . You know ,
19:56	if something goes wrong , you know , I need
19:57	to sort of show some empathy , even though I
19:59	don't really feel it . And this is quite hard
20:02	, especially . That's why you know , I don't
20:04	like large groups of people . I don't like having
20:06	to . I've got to really work hard to think
20:08	about . How do I need to behave ? How
20:10	should I be acting ? Because I might upset people
20:12	and and I can do that quite easily by being
20:15	very blunt . So fortunately , we've got Donna and
20:18	Rachel that very good at seeing the other side .
20:24	Liam has a really nice relationship with a girl from
20:28	his school . They've been together as a couple for
20:31	over a year now , and it's been really ,
20:34	really helpful for Liam's growth to work out the rules
20:38	of relationships . Being gay with my girlfriend for about
20:42	a year and its best year of my life .
20:44	Actually , yeah , we have said , I love
20:46	you to each other . I'm pretty sure I understood
20:48	it because it's just , you know , is something
20:52	that you should really understand before you set . It
20:55	was because it takes a lot of thinking time for
20:58	me to actually understand a big thing like that .
21:00	It's physically and emotionally exhausting for me to understand small
21:04	emotions . So I think , yeah , it was
21:07	something that I really meant to do . You want
21:11	to play space engineers play space ? It is .
21:14	No , it's boiling . The self is above it
21:17	. Don't tease him about his overheating laptop . Can
21:20	you give him to do ? Can I service up
21:24	the plane ? No . Come on , it's kind
21:28	of need . As a family , we've got this
21:29	sort of common denominator between a lot of us ,
21:31	which also really worries me . It kind of excludes
21:34	Conor a little bit . We have to be really
21:37	careful because we find ourselves putting a lot of effort
21:40	into supporting the other three kids . So I'm very
21:43	aware that he feels like he gets left out .
21:46	Mhm . It is really hard . And I'm so
21:49	mindful that he doesn't get lost in that dizziness of
21:52	three Children with quite strong needs . He just wants
21:56	to be a typical young man and do typical young
21:59	man things . Hello . How are you ? Hi
22:04	, Auntie . And she is incredible to this family
22:08	. She gives on a 1 to 1 time .
22:10	It's really focused all about him . So once a
22:14	week , he goes out on a sad day for
22:16	the entire day , go and play soccer . And
22:18	then they'd go off and do the market and fixing
22:21	cars and then come home . So it was a
22:22	really nice break for him . It's orange . Hey
22:29	, get some cake . You need the energy .
22:31	Well done , Justin . Now , this woman here
22:35	is amazing because her and her husband , they come
22:40	early . They put up the tent today . They're
22:41	running a barbecue . Last time I think they paid
22:43	for the sausages and bread . Yeah , they bring
22:45	common to all these games . She is an amazing
22:48	lady . Uh huh . Mhm Yummy snack . I
23:01	was thinking you guys have both been so good today
23:05	that I was thinking about doing a no rules .
23:07	Night . Mhm . Uh huh . What's new roles
23:15	for you , sir ? One night , I was
23:20	just so tired of no rules . And as long
23:24	as you guys are doing the right thing , I'm
23:26	not gonna see any roles . All of a sudden
23:29	, we had these really well behaved Children that weren't
23:31	fighting with each other and having a whole lot of
23:33	fun . And I'm getting a break , and it
23:36	just worked . Mhm . Yeah , that's what you
23:42	want . Yeah . See these loops ? We can
23:51	use these , and then we just need to get
23:56	this slope . We have nature play school one day
24:00	a week . I was aware that in the New
24:03	Zealand legislation , Children can attend a different school one
24:07	day a week . We've also learned that hair and
24:10	Sophie clearly don't enjoy going to school five days a
24:13	week . So I started to look for what would
24:16	be the right fit for them to have a break
24:18	and do what they love to do , which is
24:20	to have no rules and to be free . And
24:23	for Harry in particular , he loves bugs and birds
24:28	. Yeah , Guys , we need this to be
24:31	, like , super tight . You're really happy don't
24:33	. I need you to progress again . Do you
24:39	get off ? So with our nature based play programs
24:42	, all our curriculum is looked at from both a
24:46	sensory child development point of view as well as an
24:48	education and fun point of view . So it's a
24:50	bit more holistic with what we have Children doing throughout
24:53	the day with a really nice balance of some intentional
24:56	teaching and a lot of child lead play . Three
25:01	people on this side , three people on this side
25:06	. Okay , Nature school is really cool because there's
25:11	Kim . She brings in tools and Amazon swords and
25:15	stuff like that , and we cut down the dead
25:17	trees . There was a bora we saw to Bora
25:23	. There was heaps of who holds as well ,
25:25	and if you touch , the tree just fell into
25:27	dust . Some of the tree fell into dust .
25:32	Sophie has really hooked in with another girl that's here
25:39	, and they are on their own mission . A
25:41	lot of the time they have been quite creative and
25:44	expressive , and they both have a passion for mud
25:47	. They just go as fun really is really cool
25:51	. And she's my best friend . Definitely an incredible
25:57	, and there's been benefits that I didn't anticipate finding
26:00	our village . We had this amazing community of very
26:03	similar minded parents who were open and accepting of a
26:08	little bit different , a little bit quirky . And
26:10	these are all things that are really critical to their
26:13	success as being an adult . But it takes a
26:17	huge amount of time and effort to find those resources
26:21	. And you also have to spend a lot of
26:23	time talking to people because there is no resource in
26:26	the community that says , Here are all the options
26:29	that you could choose . Yeah , Okay , come
26:38	on , come on . He's got chili in it
26:40	. No . So every Friday , Auntie and Uncle
26:43	come and have dinner . And maybe now and then
26:45	we have other people over and just say thanks .
26:48	Thank you for the hard work around , puts and
26:50	helps us out . So tonight we've got big lips
26:52	and science Sarah here as well . Also curious .
27:01	Without Rachel's never ending efforts to keep the family working
27:05	smoothly , we wouldn't be in this situation . She
27:08	pulls off this amazing achievement of raising all of us
27:11	and helping us the family grow mhm . Autism has
27:16	taught me that everybody has their own view on their
27:20	own life . I think having a lived experience of
27:26	disability makes me a richer person . And I'm super
27:31	proud of all my Children . I'm really excited about
27:34	the future because I think for all of the kids
27:37	, that's going to be something pretty incredible . I
27:40	couldn't be more proud of my Children . I think
27:42	they're all incredibly gifted . It would be a boring
27:47	life of that . Having some autistic kids . Yeah
27:53	. Mm . Yeah , yeah . Mhm .

Summarizer

DESCRIPTION:

In the Priestley family, three of four children have been diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder. Though Dad, Aidan, was never diagnosed as a child - he too has come to recognise his symptoms through his children and appreciate the value that an earlier diagnosis may have had. The family are high-functioning, and many of those on the outside either donât see or misunderstand their struggles. But behind the scenes we see the daily effort that goes into navigating the world more comfortably.

OVERVIEW:

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