1. Even a criminal has a right to fair treatment, so I, who have done no harm, should have the
privilege of defending myself. I just read an article in a French magazine, in which the author
criticizes some “American Humorists”. I am one of those humorists, so I am making a complaint.
2. This gentleman’s article is a good one, as articles go in French. (They always tangle up everything
so that when you start into a sentence you never know whether you are going to come out
alive or not!) It is a very good article, and the writer says all manner of kind things about me. I
thank him with all my heart. But, then why should he go and spoil all his praise?
3. What I mean is this: he says my Jumping Frog is a funny story, but still, he can’t see why it should
ever make anyone roll on the floor with laughter. Then, he translates it into French in order to
prove to his nation that there is nothing so very funny about it. There is where my complaint lies.
He has not translated it at all. He has simply mixed it all up; it is no more like The Jumping Frog
when he gets through with it than I am like the man in the moon.
4. But my just saying so is not proof. So I print here the French version, that all may see that I do
not speak falsely. Also, so those who don’t know French may understand my pain, I have retranslated
it back into English.
5. And to tell the truth, I have worn myself out at it. I have hardly rested from my work during five
days and nights. I cannot speak the French language, but I can translate very well, though not fast.
6. I ask the reader to run his eye over the original English version of the Jumping Frog, and then
read the French or my re-translation. Kindly take notice of how the Frenchman has messed up the
grammar. I think it is the worst I ever saw, and yet the French are called a polished nation. If I had
a boy that put sentences together as they do, I would polish him, too
