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    Sir Philip was Confused Author Unknown

    Read "Sir Philip was Confused" and answer the questions that follow.
    1. King Mortimer had sent Sir Philip into the wilderness with instructions to destroy the dragon that had been terrorizing the countryside.
    2. The King had more than 500 knights, but he had chosen Sir Philip and he did not stop to explain why. King Mortimer viewed dragons as the worst menace in the kingdom.
    3. When Sir Philip had first set out on his quest, he was filled with a sense of anticipation of the events to come. In his imagination, he could see what was going to happen. He would slay the dragon and receive the congratulations of King Mortimer.
    4. But things didn't quite turn out that way.
    5. The previous evening, Sir Philip had arrived near the lake where the dragon was supposed to live. He camped for the night, sharpened his sword, and went to bed early. In the morning, Sir Philip opened his eyes. A pair of eyes was looking into his. Large eyes. Orange eyes. Dragon eyes.
    6. Sir Philip jumped out of his sleeping blankets in a great hurry, knocking over his sword. It made a great clattering noise. He chased after it. His heart was pounding with fear. He could almost feel the flames shooting from the dragon's mouth to roast him alive. Standing there, he suddenly recognized that he didn't feel very roasted, or even hot. In fact, he felt quite cold. Looking down, he figured out why. He wasn't wearing any pants.
    7. "Chilly?" asked the dragon. "Wh-what?" asked Sir Philip, shivering. "I suppose you've come to slay me," said the dragon.
    "Well, yes, I have," said Sir Philip. "How tiresome," said the dragon. "Once every few months, some king or other sends a knight out here to try to slay me Gets kinda boring, if you ask me. Don't you people have anything better to do?"
    8. "You've been terrorizing the countryside!" said Sir Philip. "Baloney," said the dragon. "You eat the people's sheep," said Sir Philip. The dragon laughed. "I'm a vegetarian," he said. "Mostly I like ferns." "But haven't you been scaring the people?" "People get scared when they see me, I suppose," said the dragon. "But that's just because I'm big." "And you shoot fire out of your mouth," Sir Philip pointed out. "A bad habit," admitted the dragon. "But I've never harmed anyone."
    9. Sir Philip looked confused. "But what happens now? I have a reputation. If I come home without slaying you, no one will respect me."
    "So people will only respect you if you do some killing first?" asked the dragon. Sir Philip looked worried. "I guess you're right. But what am I supposed to do now?" "I suggest you start by putting your pants on," said the dragon.

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